My Lost Love
by ParanoidAndroid42
Summary: Amy asks the Doctor about Rose Tyler.  For a prompt at the Then There's Us ficathon on livejournal.


"Remember when you showed me the records of past TARDIS inhabitants?"

I jumped and hit my head on the glass floor of the control room, Amy really needs to stop sneaking around or she'll give someone a heart attack and knowing our luck it'll either be me or Rory. Rubbing my sore head I leant against the staircase and shot an irritated look towards the source of most of my recent problems. "Yes Pond I remember when you tricked me. Now what of it?" Ok, I was annoyed. She had to come find me and ask a stupid, useless question while I was busy doing actual maintenance on a few of the more crucial systems.

"Well I noticed one of the pictures kept appearing. A blonde girl. I was just wondering who she was." Amy sat on the top step and leaned forward, either expecting a thrilling tale with a dashing hero or about to give me tips on flirting with River, well ok, maybe not the second one any more, at least she hadn't slapped me yet.

"Pond, it's not that interesting." I really didn't want to dredge up old memories, especially _those_ memories. They belonged to a different man.

"Oh come on Doctor, you know all about my life." I smiled a little, Amelia Pond, the girl who never gave up.

"I've lived for a long time Amy, too long to tell you all about it." Not that I would, none of my companions needed to know everything I'd done, apart from River and I didn't tell her any of it anyway so she doesn't count.

"Well I don't want to know all of it. Just the bit with her, she was obviously important to you."

I sighed and gave in. What Amy Pond wanted, Amy Pond got and woe betide anyone who tried to stop her. I walked up and sat next to her, using the time to try and focus on the good times I'd had with my pink and yellow girl. "Her name was Rose Tyler. I was in a bad place when she came along. It was just after the Time War and I tracked a signal to Earth." I saw it so clearly, as if it was happening in front of me.

"_Nice to meet you Rose, run for your life!"_

"I blew up her job and things just fell into place I guess. The alien was defeated, the Earth was saved and I asked her to come with me. She said no at first, I don't know why." I hid my grin at Amy's shock that anyone would say no to travelling with me and kept on with the story. "She said yes the second time and that's it, she travelled with me for around two years, give or take."

"That can't be the end of it Doctor. Her picture was the only one to appear more than any other, a few of them came up twice but hers came up even more than that. She was important to you."

Dammit Amy why can't you let this go! I thought, but one look at her expectant face and the memory of the hologram while I was dying made me go on. "Ok yes there is more to it than that. Rose saw me regenerate and somewhere along the line I just, I fell in love with her. We loved each other but before anything could happen she was taken from me." I felt tears in my eyes and knew Amy could see them too. She almost put her arm around me but stopped and simply put her hand on my arm.

"Doctor, if you don't want to say anymore then stop." Except I couldn't stop, not now. I hadn't told anyone the finer details of what happened that day and despite my tears I knew that talking about it would help.

"No it's, it's ok Amy." I took several deep breaths to calm myself down before I started talking about one of the worst days of my life. "I had taken her home to talk to her mother and we just got caught up in it all. This organisation, Torchwood, they had opened a breach in the universe and Cybermen and Daleks got through. I tried to send Rose and her mother into the other universe so that they'd be safe but she came back to help me. She said she was never going to leave me."

"_I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never going to leave you."_

"It nearly worked, we almost managed to send the Daleks and Cybermen back into the void but something went wrong with her lever, she pushed it back up and held on as tight as she could." The scene was playing in front of me and I couldn't stop the tears that now flowed down my cheeks. "She lost her grip and fell. Her father, well a different version of her father, caught her and took her back with him. The gap closed and she was gone. In a different universe." I heard Amy try to conceal a sob and carried on. "I had to find a way to say goodbye so I blew up a sun, Rose was worth it. She told me that she loved me but before I could tell her that I loved her our time ran out." I let out a mirthless laugh, "the Time Lord who ran out of time, always the same."

There was silence for a few minutes before I started on the end of Rose's tale. "She came back a few years later and I left her again. Dropped her off in the other universe with a human clone of my old body and told her to make him better. I can't imagine she's very happy with me now, I hope she's happy with him though."

"_Alright, both of you answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it."_

"_I said 'Rose Tyler'."_

"_Yeah and how was that sentence going to end?"_

"_Does it need saying?"_

I got up suddenly and all but ran to the corridor, only stopping at the sound of Amy's voice.

"Do you miss her?"

I didn't answer, just walked and walked, past the pool, past Amy and Rory's room, past River's room, past my room until I came to a simple door with a plaque on it.

_Rose's room_

I leant my head against the cool wood and placed my hand over her name. "I miss you so much. My Rose."


End file.
